A 57-year-old business acquaintance of mine, who was, at one time, a domestic violence councilor, began to lecture me about all the disservices I was committing against myself for being single. He even asked me, “What do you do?”, meaning what I did for sex. He even went as far as asking me if I masturbated often. I looked at him and asked him, “Why is my genitalia on your mind?” With that he stopped that line of questioning but he continued telling me how great his life was with “the right woman”. He had only met her about 6 years before, in his early fifties and her in her early forties.
She lives in Los Angeles with their son (age 5) and he travels back and forth between there and New York City.
In the past, I have seen him call his wife asking her permission to do something in NYC. I never want to ask permission of anyone to do anything I want to do. I’ve seen him on the phone with her and complaining, after hanging up, that she treats him like a child. That is not what I’m looking for out of my life. There were times he was late calling his wife. He got an ear full when he finally did call her. Again, not my idea of a great time.
Anyway, after chewing my ear off, he told me about his life as a domestic violence councilor and how he used to council men in prison for doing, amongst other things, pushing their wife’s face in a grease fryer. He started on this path trying to convince me that men were mean and abusive. He also told me about his wife’s ex-husband and how abusive he was to her. The look on his face was priceless when I told him that one side of the story does not a conclusion make. I also told him that his point of view that men are mean to women is conversely perceived as women only accepting vicious and violent men, the same as a lioness in the wild seeks the most vicious lion.
He diverted the subject just ever so slightly telling me about domestic violence laws. He told me that a simple argument can be classified as domestic violence if, while arguing, the man walks closer to a perceived weapon. He even used an example of a couple arguing and the man walks towards the direction of a gun cabinet on his way to the bedroom. He also said the same man can, while having a simple argument, sit at a table near a butter knife or lean closer to a broomstick and that too will make a simple argument into a domestic violence situation. I told him that I don’t want to live in fear that I might argue the wrong way that will end up with me in prison.
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The above was written 3 years ago and this man found out that the love of his life was cheating on him with another woman. He later found out that “his son” was not his. He never believed it nor did he want to take a DNA test to prove it. His wife grew tired of him and had him arrested for domestic violence. His wife had bruises all over her body and a black eye. He swore up and down that he never struck her but his wife was awarded an “Order of Protection” against him. He finally found proof that “his son” was not his and he was pissed off that he had to continue to pay child support for a child that was not his. His, now, ex-wife lives in the house that he has to pay the mortgage, and she gets monthly child support payments.
Too bad I have not seen him since our first meeting.