I am a 53 year old man that was divorced in 2000 and considered myself luckier than most men in my position.
There is this one very important issue about false rape allegations that I can’t get to the younger men quick enough.
I was a product of a “broken home” when my father went on his way and left my mother with two kids, my sister (age 5) and I (age 4). This is when the abuse began. In retrospect I saw that my mother manipulated men to do her will, this abuse from her was the reason my father left. It would be now harder for her with 2 kids in tow so we were in her way and she had to get rid of us. The beatings were severe to the point that a broomstick was broken over my back at age 5.
Side note: When I tell females about my mother breaking a broomstick over my back, the female collective responds every time that I must have been a very bad kid to be hit with a broomstick. I would stop and ask what would a 5 year old child have to do for you to break a broomstick over their back.
By age 7 or so, I remember a morning news show warned of a rapist in the area. My mother slapped me hard and told me, “If you ever rape a woman I will disown you.” Her instruction to my sister was to scream “Rape” if she was in trouble with a man in the future.
Imagine, I do not even know the word “rape” and she is warning me against committing such a violent act. One day we were all sitting down to watch our favorite show, “Star Trek” (1968). In this one episode, “Shore Leave”, a female member of the landing party was raped then it was revealed that the planet they landed on was fulfilling all of their fantasies. I questioned my mother asking why was the girl beaten and the others were given their fantasy. My mother told me that that woman wanted to be raped by Don Juan as my mother giggled. Now I was confused.
A number of months or maybe years went by when my mother was called into jury duty. Her case was an admitted prostitute claiming to be raped by some man, I remember my mother’s talk on the phone with her friends stating that she did not believe the woman because she claimed that the man ripped her jeans and that jeans were not easily ripped from someone’s body.
As I got older, about 16 – 17 years old, I remember having an very heated argument with my mother. When I was winning my argument on a logical level, I could see that my mother was getting more and more frustrated to the point she yelled, “Rape! Rape! Rape!”, from the living room of our project apartment. I wasted no time to run out and not come back for a few days. Hell, I even spent the summer night in Central Park, in NYC.
As I was about 19 years old one of my friends called me to inform me that a girl, of who I had common friends, was spreading rumors that I broke into her apartment and raped her. My female friends, who never knew where I lived, were angry at me without even investigating the allegations. I left that group of friends as fast as I could.
In my early 20’s I discovered myself further and enjoyed meeting new girls and fucking them and they seem to like it too. I kept things going until one morning when I woke up to the girl I came home with looking at me in shock, as she told me that I raped her. When the night before was purely consensual. I kept a very strict policy of never telling anyone where I lived. I escaped with the skin of my teeth.
Over the years I have dated many girls that told me stories of a rapist attacking them. I can remember up to 5 girls of my past tell me that their step father molested them for many years. What surprised me in how they all mentioned their rape so casually and then they never called police. Yet these same girls that gave a pass for a violent criminal that raped them, would not forgive a person that said something that pissed them off.
I finally got married in my mid 30’s, and after 3 years of marriage, my wife told me one day out of the blue that the first time we had sex, that I raped her. “Where the hell did that come from?”, I thought to myself. Did she mean to say that I raped her then she married me? A week later, she presented me my divorce papers when she was working on for months before while being lovey dovey with me.
False rape allegations do exist and they are very serious. I have escaped 2 and experienced even more than my personal experience.
By the way, 7 years ago I reunited with my 80 year old father and we enjoy each others company, we even text each other on a regular basis.
P. S. I showed this letter to one of my friends and they told me that he never came across any girl that did any of that. Then he quickly remembered a time when he was driving in NYC in a brand new sports car waiting for the light to change green. A woman opened his door and sat in the car and told him, “If you don’t give me some money, I will scream, ‘Rape!!'” When he finished that story he recalled a time when his sister warned a boy on the phone that if he didn’t stop calling her, she will call the police and claimed that he raped her.